she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
