Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
