the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Shame - the story of my life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
