The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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