I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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