Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I die, sorry about rent.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
