So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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