i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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