is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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