I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
