Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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