he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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