Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
