Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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