Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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