Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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