As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
