You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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