Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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