I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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