just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
