Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize