so that wasnt chicken after all
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
