i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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