ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
