The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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