Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
this boner is exhausting
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
