I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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