you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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