dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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