Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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