Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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