remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
