Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
