well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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