Christians are straight up FREAKS
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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