i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
