I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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