Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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