When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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