Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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