I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
