I hate all girls vehemently.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
