I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A bitchslap is in order.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
