why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
