it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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