i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
