he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
