i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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