Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
