dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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