seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
