I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize