I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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