as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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